Sunday, June 17, 2012

Prometheus (2012)

Links: TVTropes, Wikipedia, IMDB (7.7).

Miles: This is philosophy as taught by 5 year olds.
Noah: Yeah, it's this movie that thinks it's so much smarter and deeper than it really is.
Miles: But it's so much dumber.
Noah: It's way dumber. The characters are way dumber. This movie has nothing to say, nothing to show us, and nothing interesting to explore. [...] If a better writer had gotten ahold of this story, like Arthur C. Clarke, this would have been a really fascinating movie. Instead, they were content just to make it an alien creature-feature, with nothing substantive to say, and in fact as actively insulting to the intelligence of anyone who tries to think about it critically. Am I far off?
Miles: It's an insult to anyone that actually does try to think about these issues, these philosophical and theological issues.
Noah: 'cuz they're weighty issues. They're issues worth exploring. In a smarter movie they might well have explored that, but instead they think by just bringing the issue up, and then actively contradicting it, that it's somehow deep. And it's not. It's just dumb. It's a very pretty, well shot, stupid fucking movie.
— 1:07:04-1:09:08 "Vlog 6-8-12 - Prometheus", The Spoony Experiment

Prometheus is exactly why I don't generally see movies in theaters. Good: the cinematography was very pretty, the score is basically good, and the actors do good jobs with their material. Bad: everything else. The plot was incoherent, the science made no sense, nearly all of the characters were undeveloped and forgettable, and the remaining characterizations were wildly inconsistent. One particularly glaring problem: there's no reason whatsoever why android David has either the knowledge or the motivation to do the things he does in the first half of the film, especially given what we know by the second half. The movie feels like it's trying desperately to be a clone of the first Alien film, to the point that it feels more like a franchise reboot than a pseudo-prequel. The old man makeup for Mr. Weyland is jarringly bad. Oh, and what is this tedious and out of place "I choose to believe" religion sub-plot doing in here? That has no business in this series. If I'd known that one of the principal writers of Lost was responsible for the script's final rewrite, I wouldn't have bothered to see this film, and I would have been correct to do so. Score: 1 star out of 4.

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